Monday, November 21, 2016

Eyes

 
 
PHOTO PROMPT © Bj√∂rn Rudberg
 
 
 
The crowd was rooting for him. Women were throwing kisses in the air and one was even begging him to marry her. He is so lucky.
As he scanned the sea of faces earnestly, his eyes gleamed as they locked on hers. I live for you woman.
She smiled at him awkwardly, mouthing the words “I Love you, too’”.  He saw it again. The distance. The guilt. Guilt of not loving him back the way he did.
Eyes. How they give it all away.
His heart shattered into a million pieces. And nobody heard a thing.
 
~~~~~~
Here is another version of the same scene:
The crowd was rooting for him. Women were throwing kisses in the air and one was even begging him to marry her. He is so lucky.
As he scanned the sea of faces earnestly, his eyes gleamed as they locked on hers. I live for you woman.
She smiled at him awkwardly, mouthing the words “I Love you, too’”.  He saw it again. The distance. The guilt. Guilt of not loving him back the way he did.
Eyes. How they give it all away.
He brushed it aside. Just like last time. I would rather live a lie.
 
PS : I am already way past the due date for Friday Fictioneers. But I wanted to take my time and do justice to this scene. Did you feel the pain of the character? I would appreciate any feed back that you can provide. 
Which version did you like better?
 
 
 
 

Sunday, November 13, 2016

For Azgar - A good human being


In September this year, I lost two people I cared for. One was my grand mother (Ajji). She was 81 and she left this world in a split second, without as much giving us a chance to reach her in time.

Second was Azgar. I wish to dwell  upon him a little more with a purpose in my heart. 

He was 30-something, I guess, and was our go-to driver. More than a driver, he was family. He was family because he was a part of our every family celebration,  because he would have his food with us, after all the guests were taken care of, because he looked after Ajji and mom like how we would do,  because I could hand over my purse to him and go into the visa office without thinking for a second, because we could count on him. Because he was always there for us. 

He was good man, because he never complained.  He was a very humble man because he was happy with what he received. He was a great man because he liked to help.

He was so great that he died helping two people from drowning in a well. 

He died because the people standing around were so busy trying to see if the teenager he just saved was dead or not, that they forgot the saviour was still inside.

He died, leaving his 8-month old daughter and a young wife with no one to take care of them.

The last time I met him was when he picked me up from the airport, when I travelled to Hyderabad when gradma passed away. September 21. It was comforting to see that he is still the same person we knew. That he made our life a little easy.

I came back to US after two weeks, only to hear the news that he is no more.

 His life was short. Very short. But in the time he was here, he left an indelible impact on us.  Two thousand people attended his funeral and around 1000 were strangers that he had touched in some way. 

Please help me help his family the way he would have wanted to. Our idea is to raise enough money, so his little daughter can get decent education, like how he would have planned. The money collected would be released to them, at appropriate times, for the sole purpose of her education. 

His family needs to believe that there is still humanity left in the world and that he didnt give up his life for nothing.

Please donate how much ever you can. Thank you very much.

For any donations from India, please use the following bank account.

Sampada Raje
Acct No : 05451610272017
BANK : HDFC BANK
BRANCH : HITECH CITY 
IFSC CODE : HDFC0000545 
MICR Code : 500240002

Appreciate your support. 


Saturday, November 12, 2016

30 things before 30 -Part II


The reason it took me so much time to write about the next 15 is, no prizes for guessing, I haven't accomplished much here. The ones I really would have liked to. The ones that would have given me some satisfaction in an otherwise soulless life I lead.

To read the goal list, please go here
And to read Part I, click here


16. Yes. I got this one done. I am PMP certified now. Like every said, it was one monkey off my back. I was preparing for this one from pre-historic ages. And the only thing that kept me motivated and driven was this 30-before-30 goals I proclaimed to the world. There is nothing that could beat the feeling of striking off an item from a list.

I remember a particular lunch-table conversation where this question was asked - "If you had a chance to change something about your childhood, what would it be?" And I remember answering "The way I learnt things. The way I learnt the subjects in school". Saying things is so easy, no? I studied for this PMP in exactly the same way I used to before. More for passing the exam and less for understanding and real life implementation. Sigh.

17. Don't even get me started on this. Technology is accelerating at break neck speed and I am like the snail lost in a hurricane. I have a hundred options to choose from and there is a high chance that by the time I learn it, there would be another in the market that surpasses it. In today's world, anything, anything is possible and I don't like it. This is not the world I thought I knew.

18. I haven't figured this one out yet. A lot of introspection, retrospection went in. I kind of know what drives me, what makes me better. But in all this process, what I found out is I miss being in touch with my heart. I lost how it feels to be really touched. To feel something move inside me. To be humane once again.

I would really like to have this back. More on this in a different post.

19.  Nah. Didn't happen. No complaints. I had the opportunity to visit other beautiful places. I got to see the fall colors in full bloom. The bright red and the burning orange and the stunning yellow colors took the breath out of me and transported me to a mesmerizing world..

20. Not once, but twice!  The second time was when the temperatures were 42-45 F ( or 1-2 deg C). We had pulled over jeans over jeans, sweaters over sweaters, and sat by the camp fire until the last twig burnt out. That was quite an experience.

21. I started doing it, and for a good period of time. And then I realized I was doing it for the smell of incense sticks and the sight of the tiny deepam. I was doing it to have an answer when dad asks about it. And then I stopped doing it.

22. Yes I got one back. I think. That day, when we talked for almost two hours on phone, it made me happy that we have so much in common. That even if we didn't talk everyday or even every month, we can light a conversation on fire. That how we share the same opinion on a lot of things and how the same topics interest us. I haven't found anybody like you in so many years and I would never want to lose you.

And the other one, I am working on building it. I know we could be great friends and like everything that grows, this needs some watering. I hope I do whatever it takes.

23. Last time I was in LA, I went into a Mac store on impulse, got a compact power, a face sponge and an eye liner. I even got a hair straightener from a local store. Now I look more like an IT professional than like the cleaning lady on the premises.

I almost hear Sush yelling "Everything you do needs a heavy investment first." *wink* *wink*

24. That I do. Just that I don't remember much of what I read :( Any tips on how you do it? If it is just memory power, then keep it to yourself!

25. That I do.  Just that I don't remember much of what I read :( If it is just memory power, then keep it to yourself!

26. I guess I have to take a course of data mining and data analytics to understand the data about ME and figure out what that actually means! Why is it so tough?

Atleast I have data.

As for the society, there are so many things we can do. Doing good and spreading goodness is one. Remember the ad where a person does good to a dog, somebody sees it and does his part somewhere else, and how the good comes back to the first person? We 'think' a lot of things. We seldom act. We care about so many things and so many people, but we rarely do anything besides caring in our hearts.

One thing I learnt from Sush is, if you care about something or somebody so much, then DO something about it.

So you might see a lot of ACTION from me in the future ;)

27. I couldn't say I did. Not even one perhaps.

28. Well, if talking about it or writing a blogpost about it counts, then yeah *Sheepish look*. I will keep trying and even if I can change one person, I would consider it done.

29. I still judge people! I just cant help it. But I don't let that affect my relationship with them. Every person is different, everyone has their own learning curve, everyone has different exposure and different backgrounds. So its unfair to shoot them down for who they are.

And I think everyone judges. You observe. And derive conclusions. Its basic human nature. Its almost like breathing. And there is no harm in it unless you put a label on a person with a glue that sticks so hard that you cannot pull it off without tearing some of it.

30. I don't have anything to show for it. But I see myself thinking less about failure and more about trying it out.


There, I said it all. This was a great journey. The most productive of all of my existence :D


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